Date Your Wife Podcast Episode #91: The Karmic Loop

The White’s are back and on fire in this new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Inarguably one of their spicier therapy sessions yet, in addition to today’s theme of the Karmic Loop, Garrett & Danielle delve into the topics of parenting, fitness, dating, the art of seduction, sex, and have a candid conversation about the loop Garrett has been stuck in for the past two weeks. 


Every week inside the Date Your Wife Podcast, married couple Danielle K. White and Garrett J. White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding Sex, Money, Parenting & Communication.

Point #1: The Hamster Wheel

  • When artists inside of Danielle’s programs tell her they don’t have time to do the work required to make the changes they want to see inside of their business and life, she describes that as being on a hamster wheel.
  • “You say you don’t have time and you’re extremely tired…but you’re not actually going anywhere, you’re literally just looping and looping. You can’t afford NOT to have time. When people say they don’t have enough time, it gives them an excuse not to try something new.”

Ask Yourself: Where in your world are you making excuses instead of making time?

Point #2: False Lift

  • When you’re going along in life, and you suddenly get triggered about something, you begin to drift into a series of feelings of anger, blame, guilt, and shame, aka the Pit. Once inside the Pit, you want to fix things, but you’re not sure how.
  • You begin thinking, “If only I could go back to how things were before.” As you fall and drift down from the peak to the Pit, you find yourself inside a false lift that takes you back to the peak where you were before…but no change has actually taken place, and nothing is ever fixed.

Ask Yourself: What area of your life do you continuously have the same arguments over and over and over again? How is that working for you?

Point #3: Collision

  • The only way to change this is to identify that you’re in the loop. If you find yourself repeating the same arguments over and over again, arguing about the same shit, in the same way, that’s a telltale sign you are stuck inside the Karmic Loop or on the never-ending Hamster Wheel.
  • Once you identify that you’re in the loop, you’ve got to collide. The first collision is with yourself, and the second collision is with your spouse. It’s about taking responsibility for where you are.

Ask Yourself: Inside your relationship, what are you afraid to have a conversation about with your spouse?

Point #4: Shut Down

  • Garrett is experiencing a loop where he has shut down sexually. He has the drive and yet lacks the hunt for Danielle. “I will sit and wait for Danielle to jump on me, which she literally does.”
  • Garrett feels he created a pattern after years of rejection and trained himself not to go on the hunt. “I don’t do the weird thing, I don’t go pouty, I just do nothing. It’s shut off.”

Ask Yourself: Identify a loop you currently find yourself in. What is the first step you can take to begin changing that?

Point #5: The Stack

  • Using the Warrior tool called the Stack, Garrett takes himself through a series of questions and answers about this loop he currently finds himself in with regards to shutting himself down sexually, even though it is very clear Danielle is “open for business.”
  • During the process of asking himself what it is that he wants, he reveals, “I want Garrett to become a sexual hunter again in his marriage like he was in the first year of his marriage. I want Garrett to break the chains of sexual dysfunction in the game he is playing.”

Ask Yourself: How willing are you to dive deep into questions of self-inquiry?

Communication Challenge:

Identify one area in your relationship where you have the same argument in the same way over and over and over. Using the art of collision, begin taking steps to move forward.

Date Night Topic:

Talk about things you like your spouse to do that turn you on.

Quote of the Week:

 “If you don’t have a relationship with your spouse, and all your energy is poured into your kids, it’s gotta be a pretty depressing day when your kids leave.”

-Garrett J. White

 “I have to walk by damn near naked and be like, “We’re open for business!”

-Danielle K. White