Big Money Stylist Podcast Episode #94: Get Out of the Bleachers & Onto the Court

Are you a social media troll who hides behind a  fake account while spewing forth all manner of criticism? Maybe you’re one of those mean girls or bullies who makes fun of those who are actually on the court playing? Or, maybe, just maybe, you’re the one who’s actually putting themselves out there, come what may, and taking a stand for something you believe in? Hold on to your hats ladies and gents, this episode is as spicy as they come!

Point #1:The Show Must Go On

  • Danielle’s twelve-year-old daughter, Bailee, loves to sing and perform. After a recent performance in her school’s talent show, Bailee called Danielle in tears, “Mom, they were laughing at me. This girl on the front row was snickering at me, rolling her eyes, and getting all the boys to laugh at me with her.”
  • Danielle: It’s so different when you get up on stage in front of your peers. Just the idea of putting yourself out there is so scary. I think that happens, even as adults. And, I think, as adults, we are almost less willing to put ourselves out there there.

Ask Yourself: How do you protect yourself from the fiery darts of mean girls and haters?

Point #2: Social Media Trolls

  • “As adults, even when we do put ourselves out there, says Danielle, “there’s still the mean girls or the adult bullies that are trolls on social media. You can have 25 great comments, and then you have one asshole that says something so far out in left field.”
  • “If you have a following,” adds Danielle, “you’re going to have critics. That’s just how it is. The more you put yourself out there, the more you’re going to have people disagree with you. It’s important to stay in your lane and just continue being your authentic self.”

Ask Yourself: How do you drown out or ignore the critics?

 Point #3: Sticks & Stones

  • Danielle feels that the use of certain words can have a very different effect on people or situations. She suggests that, instead of telling someone that you’re giving them some critique, try using the word feedback instead, and watch how everything changes.
  • Ani: At the end of the day, words only have the power that you’re willing to give them. People always ask why I use so much profanity. To me, it doesn’t really fucking matter. I choose not to give words power.

Ask Yourself: What are your thoughts about the words you use or hear? Do you give them power, or do you have power over them?

Point #4: Get Back Up!

  • Danielle: Sometimes you’re going to feel like you got knocked down, and the best thing you can do is get back up because when you get back up, you’re even stronger.
  • I can count numbers times when I feel like I’ve been knocked down. I say fuck you, and I come back like Tom Brady. If you let it knock you down and you stay in that space, you can’t get any stronger.

Ask Yourself: Recall a time in your life when you got back up after being knocked down. How did you feel afterward?

Point #5: Golden Nuggets

  • Ani: Look, I get it. It’s not easy putting yourself out there, but at the end of the day, drown out the noise that does nothing for you. If people are sitting in the bleachers screaming at you and throwing tomatoes, guess what? They’re never brave enough to be where you are. And, at the end of the day, their opinion really doesn’t matter.
  •  Danielle: You have to figure out what’s going to lead you to progression in your life. And know that inside of that, there’s going to be growth. Sometimes with growth, there’s going be a little bit of pain. Learn to have tunnel vision, go after your goals, and stay on that path. Ultimately, if you serve yourself, you will serve so many others around you.

Ask Yourself: How do you practice tunnel vision?

Quote of the Week:

“It’s easier to blame the tool than taking accountability that you didn’t do the work with the tool.”

—Danielle K White

“If you’re willing to put yourself out there, in the field, front and center, whatever it is, don’t listen to people that sit in the bleachers. If you’re going to sit in the bleachers, you don’t have a right to critique me.”

—Anianne Rivera  

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