*New Episode* In this fresh new episode of the BMS Podcast, Danielle and Ani (with a cameo appearance by baby Isla) have a conversation about fear vs intuition. What causes you to seek outside validation? What can you do to silence the noise and opinions of others? What voices do you have inside your head, and which one should you listen to? What about feedback? This is a must-watch-and-listen-to episode!
Point #1: Voices
- Any time you’re about to do something new or make a decision, you’re always going to have two voices inside your head speaking to you. One of them is your legitimate intuition, the other one – which sounds exactly the same – is fear.
- With fear, your mind goes to the worst-case scenario and gives you anxiety. The other voice, however, brings with it a gut feeling or sixth sense, commonly referred to as your spidey-sense.
Ask Yourself: Are you able to differentiate between the two voices? Which one do you find yourself most often paying attention to?
Point #2: But…What Will People Say?
- Whenever we are investing in something, whether it be a class, an event, or a product, there are always going to be people who have an opinion about it. “Why would you spend so much money on that? I would NEVER do that!” Ani: We pay too much attention to what others think, and they end up projecting their fears onto us!
- Danielle: With our education, there is always a price point. Many might second guess themselves and ask, “Is it worth it? What are people going to think?” I invest a lot of money into my business, giving our artists the best experience they can possibly have, including months of pre-training.
Ask Yourself: When you make a decision, who do you tend to listen to: yourself, or everyone around you?
Point #3: Feedback
- Feedback is HUGE at Danielle’s salon. When a client has a bad experience, it’s human nature to want to defend one’s actions. But instead of doing that, it’s better to look at what took place and ask yourself what you can learn from it and what can be done differently the next time in a similar scenario.
- Ani: Don’t look at feedback as an attack, it’s to help you fucking grow. Taking feedback isn’t about shutting your mouth, it’s about stepping back and having a conversation about the situation from all viewpoints and then course correcting.
Ask Yourself: How do you give and receive feedback?
Point #4: Tune Out the Noise
- Ani: It’s SO easy to have an opinion from far away. In the words of one of our trainers, Candice, “If I am standing here on the stage, don’t fucking come to me if you’re sitting in the bleachers not doing a damn thing.” In other words, until you are in my fucking shoes, I really don’t want your fucking opinion.
- There came a time in Danielle’s life when she had to let go of everything she was raised with. “I knew in my gut there was another path. I had to TUNE OUT everything and everyone, and instead focus on MY vision of what I saw for myself and my family. When you have that little voice, use it to your advantage; use it as fuel.”
Ask Yourself: What can you do to tune out the noise in your life?
Point #5: Know Yourself
- Sometimes people second guess themselves because they don’t know or understand themselves well enough and instead rely on others to give them the validation they are seeking. Journaling, meditation, and reading books that add value to your life and help you grow as a human being will help you understand and trust yourself.
- Ani talked about how it’s important to be able to recognize the difference between “This is a bad idea, my stomach hurts!” as opposed to “That would be amazing if it works, but I am so scared.” Sometimes it IS scary, and we don’t know how to come out on the other side of that fear.”
Ask Yourself: What do you do on a regular basis to get to know and understand who you are?
Quote of the Week:
“Mama’s comin’ back!”
—Danielle K White
“Sometimes you just have to do the radically opposite thing than what you’ve been doing to actually get past that fear.”