In this brand new episode of the Big Money Stylist, Danielle and Ani take a look at how women justify their ambitions, the ways we tend to feel guilt and pressure, and how filling our plates to overload is a common occurrence among the feminine gender…and what we can do about it.
Point #1: Lady Balls
- It takes some serious “lady balls” to course-correct and recognize when it’s time to make changes…and then actually implement those changes. Otherwise, your business starts falling apart.
- In business, however, it seems that if women are passionate, they are labeled a bitch – either in their own minds or by others who will actually refer to them as a raging bitch.
Ask Yourself: Where in your world are you labeld a bitch? Who’s doing the labeling?
Point #2: Where Are You Feeling Pressure Or Guilt?
- Oftentimes, moms experience “mommy guilt” and feel as though they have to choose between work and family. But Danielle feels that working has actually made her a better mother.
- Ani is five months away from 30, unmarried & doesn’t have children and faces a different kind of pressure. “If I keep investing in my work and business and grow that way, am I going to look back when I’m 35 and be like OMG I’m alone, I’m fucking going to die alone, and I can’t have kids!?
Ask Yourself: Where do you tend to feel guilt or pressure in your world?
Point #3: What Are You Sacrificing?
- With Ani being single with no children, she’s often the first to give up her personal & vacation time. She rationalizes, “It’s ok because so and so has kids and her time is obviously way more valuable, so I’ll just work a little bit more, I’ll put a little bit more on my plate… ”
- “I’m so willing to sacrifice all of my time and the things that keep me sane as a human being because there’s no one, really, except for *me* counting on me.”
Ask Yourself: What are you sacrificing? What are the reasons you’re telling yourself that “justify” that sacrifice?
Point #4: Creating Space For You
- There are times when Danielle feels like she has to “do it all” and is always that person whose plate is too full. As women, many of us feel like we need to take on more and more and more.
- “Life forces us into situations that we need to see AND where we need to be. If you ignore those signs, you keep running into the same damn challenges.”
Ask Yourself: What message is life currently trying to tell you?
Point #5: Energy Suckers
- Ani: I’m a very powerful woman, and I’m certain in the things I do. And because of that, I can be looked at as a bitch. Why is it that I should have to minimize myself to then produce and go forward?
- I feel like I’m not looking for collision, but I don’t mind having a face-to-face forward conversation because, to me, I just don’t want that to be an open energy suck.”
Ask Yourself: Where in your world are the lack of direct conversations sucking your energy?
Quote of the Week:
“I think it’s important not to have to justify our ambitions and also to remember that you can ask for help along the way. You’re not going to grow a business if you’re not willing to delegate and let go of some of that control. If it’s not fun and it’s stressing you out, let go of the guilt and delegate.”
— Danielle K White
“At the end of the day, no one else can dictate what’s right or wrong for you. That includes any preconceived notion of what you “should” or “should not” be doing, and the opinions of others. You are the ONLY person who knows what is right for you…and that’s the ONLY voice you should listen to.”
— Anianne Rivera