Date Your Wife Podcast Episode #45: Sex On the Back Burner

In this week’s Date Your Wife Podcast, the White’s have a conversation about their nine-day sex drought.

Every week inside the Date Your Wife Podcast, married couple Danielle K. White and Garrett J. White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding Sex, Money, Parenting & Communication.

Point #1: Drought

  • After experiencing a miscarriage earlier this year, Danielle wondered if she and Garrett had lost the fun in their sex life, even though they were both enjoying the ‘let’s-try-for-another-baby’ sex
  • The time change, an increased workload, massive changes within their businesses, and Garrett turning Danielle down for the first time in their 17 year marriage, have all led to their current drought.

Ask Yourself: What is contributing to the droughts you’re experiencing?

Point #2: One For The Team

  • When it’s been a while, Garrett tends to go into this retreat mode where he doesn’t even try to initiate sex with Danielle.
  • Garrett: When we experienced a drought in the past, I would begin thinking I was in the wrong relationship. Now, I just torch the shit out of people in business.

Ask Yourself: Where do you place your energy when you’re in a drought?

Point #3: The Slip and Drift

  • Garrett: If we’re three days into having sex twice a day on vacation, I’m that guy who could use a couple of days of rest.
  • When they’re experiencing a drought, Danielle begins to lose that attraction factor, and both she and Garrett begin to feel that loss of attraction.

Ask Yourself: What actions do you take to get back that attraction factor?

Point #4: Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix

  • Garrett played a video during the show called The Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix. You have your crazy axis and your hot axis. Hot is measured from 0 to 10, and Crazy is measured from 4 to 10.
  • You’ve got your No-Go Zone, your Fun Zone, your Date Zone, your Wife Zone, and your Unicorn Zone. Garrett: Danielle’s a Unicorn: 4 Crazy and 14 Hot.

Ask Yourself: Where is your spouse inside this matrix?

Point #5: Just F***ing Do It!

  • At about seven days into a drought, most men begin to unplug from their wife. The best thing a couple could do at this point is to just have sex; just fucking do it.
  • During the podcast, Garrett and Danielle venture into a little sex talk foreplay with both committing to ending the drought after the show.

Ask Yourself: Where is your favorite place to end the drought?

Communication Challenge:

What would be possible for your relationship if you were to have a plan in place the next time a drought crops up out of seemingly nowhere?

Date Night Topic:

Have some fun with this: Universal Hot-Crazy Matrix

Quote of the Week:

“When I turned you down for the first time in seventeen years and said I’m too tired, I think that hurt you, yet I’ve heard the same thing from youfour thousand times!”

-Garrett J. White

“When I feel a drift, that’s usually when I bring out the morning sex weapon. Recognize the drift and correct it, otherwise, no relationship will work out.”

-Danielle K. White