In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, Danielle and Garrett explore their Dark side, and share how embracing both the Dark and the Light has given them the freedom to find harmony inside of their relationship, within themselves, and with humanity.
Every week inside the Date Your Wife Podcast, married couple Danielle K. White and Garrett J. White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding Sex, Money, Parenting & Communication.
Point #1: Jekyll and Hyde
- Danielle: Everyone is raised to put themselves in a box. As you get comfortable with yourself, you own EVERY side of yourself, including the crazy, but you learn how to manifest the crazy in a productive way.
- Garrett: Most people cannot accept that there are literally two sides to them. I spent most of my life putting who I was, away: my desires, the anger, the rage, the fire, the questions, the sexual desire.
Ask Yourself: What is it about you that you are hiding in a box?
Point #2: Super Power
- Danielle: I can’t operate as Susan all of the time, so it’s literally learning how to cohesively live together with your multiple personalities. It’s learning how to be cool with yourself and tapping into this dark, crazy side of you, looking at it as your Superpower. Ex: I gotta handle some shit in business, so Dark Susan’s coming out. I gotta be a wife and a lover, so Danielle’s coming out.
- Garrett: Relationship is the ability for a person to be able to be ALL of themselves in a relationship. My mission for myself and for Danielle was to be able to figure out how to be ALL of ourselves. There’s Dark Susan sex, and there’s Danielle sex – totally different sex, both are amazing. As we become more adaptable to ourselves, I think our relationship blows up in a big, beautiful way.
Ask Yourself: How do you handle ALL of you? How do you use the different parts of you to your advantage?
Point #3: Critical Bitch
- Garrett: Danielle has an aspect to her that I deeply love now but that I hated and loathed for most of our marriage, until the last four to five years. This side is what I considered to be Critical Bitch. Whatever was going on, there was always this chipping away, and for most of our relationship I thought, “Fucking crazy woman.”
- Anything to do with Danielle’s dark side was viewed as wrong, broken, over-thinking. What I had viewed as critical, all of a sudden become powerful. She had the ability to see things clearly amidst the chaos, and not be sucked in by emotion.
Ask Yourself: What have you previously viewed as wrong or broken in your spouse, but now view as powerful?
Point #4: Embrace the Dark AND the Light
- Garrett: When you start accepting that this is true inside of you – the Diabolical AND the Divine – when you accept that this is true about you, when you come to terms with and embrace and love both sides of you, you start to love and appreciate humanity and people around you at a level you never could before because you’re not fucking hiding anymore.
- Inside Wake Up Warrior, Warrior Woman, and Big Money Stylist, we lead individuals on this path that accepts the true power of who you are on both extremes: in the Dark AND in the Light, in the Night AND in the Light, so they can ultimately gain the purest sight of being able to see truth.
Ask Yourself: What part of you are you suppressing and not embracing?
Point #5: Submission vs Sedation
- Danielle: How do I get to the end result I’m looking for in a particular situation? What are the steps required? It always requires submission at some level. Ultimately, I’m happier and get what I want. That overall feeling is better than retreating and closing down. Sedation can be a sneaky little bastard, and it can come in many forms.
- Garrett: Most couples don’t want to submit, so they sedate. They go to whatever they need to in order to avoid having to collide: they eat, drink, pop pills, ignore, delve into fitness. People go to religion to justify the shitty relationship they’re in; that somehow it will be magical when they die.
Ask Yourself: Where inside of your relationship are you sedating to avoid collision?
How has your upbringing affected your ability to embrace both the Darkness and the Light within you?
Date Night Topic:
Have a conversation about your particular Crazy. What is the name of your Dark side?
Quote of the Week:
“Individually, if you do not come to terms with the fact that you have a brilliant side that is filled with light, AND you have a brilliant side that is filled with Night, that your Crazy offsets your Creator, and that your Creator cannot exist without your Crazy; until you can come to terms with yourself on this, you will never find harmony long-term in a relationship with any other person, specifically with your wife.”
-Garrett J. White
“I think people sedate their blessing. They think their blessing is their curse, so they sedate the thing that can actually give them power. What if you looked at these things as a blessing and not a curse? What if you used these to learn how to navigate through life instead of sedating what God gave you as ‘different?’ What if you learned how to use it to your benefit?”
-Danielle K. White