“Living In My Excuse.”
Today I wanted to share a story with you that held me back as a mom, wife, individual and as a business owner.
I couldn’t contribute, and just being a hairstylist was not going to give me the lifestyle I wanted. It was merely a hobby to give me a little extra spending cash without feeling guilty or controlled by my husband.
One night after a long hard conversation with my husband I decided maybe I could contribute.
But I still didn’t believe it would be by doing hair, so I started immersing myself into the events and self-help programs that my husband Garrett was attending. I thought maybe we could create a business together.
Garrett knew I loved hair – I just didn’t see it as a big money maker and had no desire to work like a typical hairdresser working 10 hours a day, six days a week.
I know I want to be a mom, but I also want to make good money… No – GREAT money, and I wanted to be passionate about what I did.
One night Garrett looked at me and said, “You need to start a brand.”
“A brand?”, I thought, “Like Redken L’Oreal? I don’t get it why would I start a brand? Hairdressers don’t just start brands…”
At this point, I had been doing hair for seven years and my husband knew my own personal hair struggles.
I have had crappy, fine, thin almost toddler-like strands of hair my whole life and had always dreamed of having ‘Victoria Secret’ Hair.
Even as early as Elementary, I couldn’t figure out why my hair wouldn’t grow, and as I got into junior high and high school I just went with a short pixie cut.
I had no idea what the next chapter would be but it was time to change my story and start my brand.
Often times in life we will create outlandish stories of what would happen if we chose a different path.
As women, we use the excuse of our children.
I know because I did this for years. A few years into working on my brand I almost gave up my entire business brand and goals.
I told myself I couldn’t have both.
I had to choose my kids, or work…
Then I realized this was a major LIE.
I didn’t have to choose, I needed to make better my use of time – We all have the same 24 hours in a day.
I realized I wasn’t interested in sacrificing more time than I already was, and, to be honest, I wanted to spend more time with my family and children.
I knew there was a way to make my business explode and actually create more space in my life and I was committed to changing that story and using my children as the excuse.
I’m now in a place with life and business where so much momentum has picked up and it’s because I chose to let go of a story that was no longer serving me.
No one will tell us we are wrong when using this story of our children… It seems like the SAFE story to tell ourselves and others.
This helps to validate the feeling of being ‘right’.
Why fight so hard to be ‘right’ when it causes us pain??
In reality, it’s fear of failure.
I think the problem that many women face is we are control freaks.
Let’s face it; We want to micromanage every detail.
I can tell you from experience this will not serve you.
Drop the ego and learn to LET GO.
Learn to delegate, teach and have patience.
In my own personal life and in business I thought that by letting go it was a weakness, I would be left in the dust, and lose control.
The truth is that those around me begin to rise and it pushed me to rise even more.
And as I saw others and rise around me, I also could look back and have moments where I felt so proud of those around me who chose to rise and knew by submitting and letting go was actually a strength, not a weakness.
So LET GO.
Give your self permission.
Trust yourself and spread your wings