I haven’t written in a while, but today I felt the need to share. Obviously, the title of this post couldn’t be further from the truth…
If you have studied any self-help books it’s probably because you’re trying to figure out life.
We are constantly told to “Create Your Story”
We emerge ourselves into the self-help world looking for a checklist to get us going in the direction we need to go. We immediately realize we are trapped in our own stories. Often times there are multiple stories running in our lives.
What piece of the story are we not currently happy with?
You could be a millionaire but have a sucky marriage, or you can have an incredible marriage and yet you can’t pay the bills. Make sense? Certain parts of her stories work while others do not.
And ultimately if one side the story is not currently working it will bleed into the other.
We can all visualize where we want to be, but if you can’t get out of our current stories then nothing changes.
We all learn and grow in different ways, and often times there are points of pain that get us to have our biggest breakthroughs.
This is usually when most people dive into any kind of self-help. They slowly see this new version of themselves emerging.
Let’s call her your higher self.
As your higher self emerges, you feel stronger and more powerful and you start to operate a different way but this may be different from what people currently know you as… so we begin to surround ourselves with people who have the same ideas and thought processes.
Living a double life:
Ok, this is something I see a lot in our mastermind with our NBR & BMS Students. With my education program, we teach business and self-help and give them the tool of Natural Beaded Rows as the tool to create success in their lives.
Many of our students dive in and drink the Kool-Aid. They love the support system, the community, and like-minded people they begin to interact with… and slowly their higher self-emerges.
The problem is they don’t let this higher person show up in all areas of their life. I can say I was guilty of this myself.
It doesn’t matter what level of success you have in your life. We all have current circles we run with. Whether it be family, religion, sports friends, mom groups, high school friends, college friends, Facebook friends and so forth.
As we begin to show up as our higher selves around certain people and communities, we begin to worry about the matter of our old communities or friends.
This is when you are living a double life. And these two contradicting lives cannot cohesively live together for long.
But the truth is if you always act in your best higher self, it’s contagious.
Even those who may seem skeptical of the new you eventually drink the Kool-Aid. The cool thing is if they don’t drink the Kool-Aid, you don’t care.
Respect yourself and in doing so others will respect you.
You’re two split personalities begin to emerge together forming your best you. Your higher self.
Don’t set yourself up for failure:
As women, we always face what I referred to as the “Mommy Guilt.”
Often times we stay in the safe-zone in life and don’t even realize the pain points that we might be in.
Ladies, this may be hard to hear but we use the excuse of our children to stay safe which ultimately hold us back.
Women crave safety and security.
So how do we become our higher selves by stepping into the unknown letting go of old stories and taking a leap of faith??
This is actually one of my personal stories that took me years to get over.
I thought to myself, “Who are you to want to change your industry? Who are you to be a self-proclaimed educator?”
I was at a turning point in my life where I could feel the higher version of myself… She was amazing. She was teaching and educating impacting thousands and thousands of people on stages the size of a football stadium and yet my other story said, “You’re a mom… play it safe, this is the path you choose.”
I told myself, “You have kids, you’re a mom and you need to be content with that.”
I think after a good solid year of feeling sorry for myself not progressing in my career my higher self literally came down to kick my ass.
There was one particular night where I was feeling high anxiety and stressed out, I wanted to throw everything that I’ve been working for the previous five years in the garbage can.
“Play it safe… You’re being selfish”, I thought. These were thoughts running my head, and in that moment a clear voice came and said,
“You would be selfish to play small. Stop worrying about your old stories and take action towards your new stories. You have no idea the impact you won’t make by staying safe and content.”
She was fierce, but I liked her.
Every day I wake up and commit to being the best version of me.
We have moments in life where we feel like we have tapped into something unexplainable.
Your soul is on fire and you have that ahah moment in life. This projects you forward into becoming your best human self. Your energy will be infectious and you will be able to communicate and walk amongst many people.
As Ernest Hemingway said,
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.”