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Hey everyone if you’re new to the blog I post Show Notes from the Date Your Wife Podcast every Tuesday.

This week’s conversation is all about COMMUNICATION. This is a major issue in married life, and if you can’t communicate everything else tends to crumble.

Press play below, or you can also download the Podcasts app to your cell phone and listen in on fast speed. Search Date Your Wife and subscribe!

Date Your Wife Podcast Episode #31: Keeping it Spicy With Dark Garrett and Susan

Dark Garrett and Susan are introduced for the first time in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, where married co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White have a conversation around the topic of communication.

They share how alcohol and therapy assisted in opening up the lines of communication between them, and how reserving Date Nights exclusively for each other continues to serve as a vital tool of connection in their marriage.

Every week inside the Date Your Wife Podcast, married couple Danielle K. White and Garrett J. White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding Sex, Money, Parenting & Communication.

In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, our Focus is COMMUNICATION!

Point #1: Sexual Communication

  • Garrett and Danielle express different personalities in their marriage at different times. While Dark Garrett and Susan cannot exist in the same space, the dynamics of these personalities brings spice to their relationship.
  • Danielle: Garrett’s a Gemini, so I feel like he’s always being genuine to the Gemini two-faced. Is it “Happy, fun Garrett?” Or is it, “I’ll rip your face off Garrett?” Garrett: Susan is a little more free-spirited and is also very aggressive. She throws champaign glasses in 5-star restaurants and smashes them on the ground. We end up on the beach where she loses her high heels and she’s making sand cookies. I love Susan. She’s rough, but I love her.

Ask Yourself: What are the different personalities that surface in your relationship?

Point #2: Alcholol and Communication

  • Garrett: Traditionally, people struggle with communication. At some point, there’s a line that can be crossed and also a line that must be crossed for individuals to get into a place of communication. Alcohol is one piece that some couples use.
  • In order for two people to be able to take their relationship further in their communication, both couples have to open up more. Alcohol has played into allowing Danielle and I to have deeper levels of communication.

Ask Yourself: What is your experience with alcohol use as a couple to enhance and deepen your communication?

Point #3: Alcohol and Sex

  • Danielle: Did you know that some couples have a hard time having sex without drinking? For me, good sex is when I’m totally sober. I know Garrett loves it when Susan shows up and does more of the porn star sex. But for me, with sober sex, I have better orgasms even though the sex may seem very plain Jane and traditional.
  • I’ve talked with many women who agree: If we’re super hammered, we can’t get off. If I come to a point where I’m super drunk, I will have fun playing the role of Susan for Garrett. I don’t really care if it’s beneficial for me that night because, at that point, it’s more fun just to have fun.

Ask Yourself: What role does alcohol play in your sexual intimacy?

Point #4: The Strategy of Therapy

  • Danielle: Garrett had suggested for the longest time that we do therapy. I said fuck you, I’m not broken, I’m not doing therapy. I was really stubborn about it. I was like, you work on yourself, I’m good. With divorce on my mind, and feeling like I hadn’t done everything I could, I surrendered and agreed to do therapy.
  • Therapy was really interesting for me. I was afraid that by sharing my problems, I would be exposed. I then realized that a lot of people have the same fucking problems in different variations. In going to a therapist, I felt like I finally had a sounding board where it was safe to share things.

Ask Yourself: What role has therapy played in strengthening your marriage?

Point #5: In the Beginning

  • Danielle: I felt like we had good communication when we were dating. That’s one of the things that I liked about Garrett. We would sit and talk for hours and hours, which was the first time I had experienced anything that. I felt so comfortable with him. We lost that when things got a little spicy in our marriage.
  • Garrett: The first business I launched after we got married, I was so focused on work that I remember Danielle, but at the same time, I hardly remember her. We spent the first ten years of our marriage just growing up. We were both re-growing as individuals and having to re-choose each other as a couple over and over and over again.

Ask Yourself: How has your communication changed and evolved from when you first began dating?

Communication Challenge:

What about therapy? What about alcohol? What about something else? Have an open conversation about the possibility of bringing these or other strategies into your marriage to enhance and deepen the levels of your communication.

Date Night Topic:

Take on different personalities during your next Date Night to add some spice to the mix.

Quote of the Week:

“If one of us is not in Dark Garrett or Susan, is there an attraction that exists between simply Garrett and Danielle? Or is it the dynamic of Susan and Dark Garrett that actually brings about the spice?”

-Garrett J. White

“As long as we have our Date Nights and our family days, I feel like we’re able to have bits of time where we’re able to stay connected.”

-Danielle K. White