Every week inside the Date Your Wife Podcast, married couple Danielle K. White and Garrett J. White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding Sex, Money, Parenting & Communication.
In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast, our Focus is MONEY!
Point #1: Having Expensive Tastes In Which Money Matters
- Money causes a ton of chaos within marriage, which will make or break the relationship, forcing you to deal with your spouse on a whole new level.
- Danielle was raised by entrepreneurs that focused on having a home that was up to date and something to have pride in, while to Garrett having a lot of money was unattainable unless you were a doctor with a swimming pool in your backyard, like a kid he remembers from school.
Ask Yourself: What kind of background were you raised in that has effected the way in which you approach your outlook on money within marriage?
Point #2: The War of Spending Money
- Danielle spent money because she wanted to experience life, but for Garrett, money was about spending money on business, which he still struggles with, as they throw each other under the bus in how they spend money.
- According to Danielle is being a selective cheap bastard until her perspective of her role as a Stylist rather than a Hobbyist she was able to change.
Ask Yourself: If you could throw your spouse under the bus, what do you think they struggle with when it comes to spending money?
Point #3: ATMs and Porn Stars
- Garrett felt like the only way he had value was if he made money, and therefore when he makes money Danielle should put out for sex any time he wants.
- Women want to feel safe and secure, so it becomes hard to have sex with him when he’s no longer attractive as the Producer, and the man in the relationship doesn’t feel like he’s providing value to the relationship because of this role as well, in which his balls get cut off mentally.
Ask Yourself: What does being a Producer do to bring out the sexual dynamic within marriage?
Point #4: Learning from What Didn’t Work: The Cancun Contract
- With the Cancun Contract, it was 3 for 3: 3 Gifts for 3 sex sessions which led to feeling more like they were purchasing prostitution in an attempt to give their marriage a shot at what would work for them based off of their own love languages for 3 weeks, learning that using money as a manipulator didn’t work but ended to bigger breakthroughs later on.
- Garrett learned to invest because he wanted his wife to be happy, looking at money as a tool, not an asset by shifting his wife towards being the asset, showing that Danielle matters to him.
Ask Yourself: Where can you invest in your spouse with no strings attached, investing in experiences with your spouse and family? Where do you still need to give yourself permission to receive without guilt?
Point #5: I Want You To Want To
- Hold yourself to a higher standard in order to push your spouse to become more, believing in them more than they believe in themselves.
- At one point, Garrett made the huge realization that sometimes the man is the ATM, and you need to be OK with it because it shows that she is worth the investment. Danielle is a producer on her own, but she wanted him to want to be a man in seeing the value in investing in her. Now, they have both surrendered and invested in each other.
Ask Yourself: How can a woman powerfully support and invest emotionally in her husband to encourage him to become a bigger producer?
Date Night Topic:
What improvements can be made in regards to the topic of money?
Quote of the Week:
“I was raised to feel that you could get whatever you wanted in life if you are willing to work, but no one was going to save you. I didn’t know that I could want anything more than what I had. I learned that I needed to demonstrate in my marriage that my wife is worth spending money on and worth the investment.”
-Garrett J. White
“If you want to be treated like a Queen, you’ve got to treat your man like a King. Women need to own their part and let go of the guilt when your husband invests in you. Stop getting stuck in the stories that your man isn’t fulfilling you, and realize that you may not be fulfilling his needs. If he’s putting in effort, take the gifts he’s giving you and see how it feels to then harmonize in fulfilling his needs.”
-Danielle K. White