Today on the blog I’m going to talk about keeping your relationship spark…even when your married;)
My husband and I have been married for over 13 years. Our marriage isn’t perfect but lately we seem to click. I feel like we have that spark we did even when we were first dating. But it wasn’t always this way we had to work hard to reconnect. We went through a phase where I didn’t even know if we are going to stay married but both of us decided to choose in and work on our marriage.
I got married at 20 wow what was I thinking ha ha. I’m from Utah and that’s actually pretty normal there. About six years ago when times were tough and we decided to work on things. The first thing we did is to commit to doing a date night every single week regardless of the time or money and we always manage to find a way and get a babysitter. For the last five years we have consistently gone on one to 2 date nights a week. This has completely changed our marriage. It didn’t happen overnight but suddenly I was excited to actually hang out and go on date night with my husband. Sometimes we plan something fun like driving to L.A. for a staycation or go to a concert. And other nights we just keep it chill and go out here in Laguna to have dinner or even a movie. I love any excuse to get dressed up so of course I always make sure I’m feeling cute on date night.
Let’s talk about sex baby…
Let’s be honest if you have young kids this gets interesting. Whether you work or you don’t work by the time you get done with your day get the kids in bed and you’re extremely exhausted. There’s no time for you and your husband to connect. This is why date night has been so important for us. Simply connecting and not putting kids to bed does wonders for your marriage.
Have you ever heard the phrase women are like slow cookers men are like microwaves…
This couldn’t be more true. Women need time and attention in order to feel a connection. In my experience men are ready to go all the time ha ha. My husband owns several companies and after a long work week the first thing he wants to do when he gets home is have sex. After a long weekend of him working or being out of town we always make sure we schedule a date night in order to both feel reconnected to one another. Listen ladies men need sex more than women probably do. So sometimes on those long exhausting days just surrender. Meaning fake it till you make it.;) In my experience if you allow yourself to get into it you probably will enjoy it. Then you’ll notice everybody in the house is happier and things are running more smooth. A relationship is about give-and-take. So even if you’re not in the mood get in the mood. I can promise you your husband will probably most likely be in a better mood and return the favor in some other way.
Pretend like you’re dating…
In a relationship we tend to get so comfortable. When we get comfortable we often forget to be tactful in our words. I always like to think back to when we were dating what did I say, what did I not say, how did I act. I’ve shared this concept with my husband and it seems like when we are both more respectful and tactful with one another there’s more spark in the relationship. Treat your husband like the man and allow him to treat you like a woman. You must have polarity in a relationship in order to have chemistry.
This is what I referred to as mommy time out. Listen ladies if you’re extremely frustrated had a long day at work or a long day with the kids maybe allow yourself 30 minutes of peace before your husband gets home from work this might put you in a better State of mind. I would also encouragement men to do the same thing, finish up your work at the office and don’t bring home. During date nights my husband and I try and put our phones away and just talk and hang out and connect. Don’t get me wrong sometimes we do it as short fun video together for social media, but typically it’s best to have the no phone policy while on date nights. I see so many young couples at dinner and they sit there with their phones in front of their face the whole time. Make Sure to take time to create the relationship you are looking for, and don’t forget to “date” even when married.
For Valentine’s my husband and I are going away for a quick weekend trip to Cabo. This is a cute dress that I thought would be fun to take on the trip. Shop this look below and I forget to spice it up for Valentine’s Day!
Happy Friday everyone