One of the things my husband and I do every week is date night. Sometimes even twice a week. Once a month with other friends just doesn’t count. I can honestly say my husband is my best friend and after 13 year being marriage I still get excited to go out. It wasn’t always this way. I got married young and did everything on my check list…
Get married have Babies and live happily ever after. Our relationship took a turn after being 9 months pregnant with my second baby. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to be married at that time. This is actually what inspired me to start my brand. I thought if I have to do this alone I better figure out how to provide for myself and children. As I started to grow as a person my husband did as well. We both started to see success in business and in life. My second daughter was about 2 at this time and it was then that we made date night a priority. We had spent the first 5 years of our marriage being comfortable and I just thought thats what you do when you get married. We have spent the last 5 years re dating and growing together instead of growing appart.
PUTTING IN THE TIME
If you want to be an expert at anything you have to be willing to put in the time including your marriage. From a women’s perspective we tend to feel a little mommy guilt when it tends to making time for ourselves or even making time for our relationship. Especially if you are a working mom, we think I’m already taking time for work and can’t possible take any more time away from my kids.
My husband and I both run our own business and in order to stay connected, both family time and date night are extremely important. If we go even 2 weeks with out that date night we feel a little disconnected and awkward. It’s almost as if we have to warm back up to each other. In my experience men want sex and women want time. Relationships become a balancing act between give and take.
MALE AND FEMALE BALANCING ACT
Another challenge we face is balancing both the feminine and masculine roles. Powerful men and women have to let go of thier ego a little in order to have a great relationship. My husband and I both are secretly competitive in life and business with one another wich can be good and bad. For me I try to balance being a strong powerful women but allowing my huband to be the man. If I get too competivite I become more malculine and he becomes more feminine which is a turn off to both of us. Even if you don’t work you probably manage the home witch is definitely a job. As women we like to micro manage every little detail.
I told my husband this year “that’s it I’m hiring me a wife” I can’t have two jobs any more. We hired a home manager/nanny. This was hard for me to admit I couldn’t do it all and be sane, but I was burning out. Since hiring her this has helped relieve a lot of stress and anxiety. This also opened up space for my husband and I to “date” weekly.
Why is it that we get married and just settle into comfortable. This goes for both men and women, think back to when you were dating did you get a new outfit maybe a pair of shoes did you get your car washed? Did you plan an exciting dinner or activity? If your not doing that now then your not dating. Your frumpy and comfortable and just settling for a comfortable marriage or relationship.
Being married can be hard. It takes work and sacrifice. It’s also beautiful passionate and can be the most amazing experience. My husband I will be starting a pod cast called “date your wife” tune in next month to hear more topics on sex, trust, parenting, money,and growth as individuals and couples.
Shop this amazing Holiday dress below and don’t forget to get dressed up and go out on a date this month!
Happy Friday Everyone!
Photos By: Taylor Cole